Obstructions

You have your normal traffic obstructions: construction done idiotically during rush hour, that pedestrian that you have to yield to, an incident that causes rubbernecking (because so many people out there are just SO morbidly curious), stand-still traffic that seems to happen for no reason, people who don’t know how to drive in the rain. But then, occasionally, as a break to your weary road-sore eyes, you will get an amusing obstacle that makes you slam your foot on the breaks. And it is such a wonderful sight, you forget to be mad.

A week or two ago, my mom and I were driving up Middle Country Rd. past the Smith Haven Mall, and were passing Applebees when we saw people stopped and gawking at something. We quickly stopped the car, to see a mother duck and six baby ducklings crossing the double yellow line right past our car. The honking and streaming traffic soon confused them, and the mother about-faced and quacked to her babies (“Oh, my darlings! How could I have led you to this danger! This path is one filled with angry beasts on wheels!). As the went to return the way they’d come, people who thought they could finally drive almost squished them into the hot tar. People have no patience. I waited until the ducks were safe in the Applebee’s parking lot (safe-ish?) before driving away, and ignored the man in the car next to me screaming, “Oh, sorry to ruin your stroll out in the park!! I’ll eat you for breakfast next time!!!!” For once, I sympathized with birds.

Katie was driving me home the other day and we were turning by the Bull when we see this bald-headed guy in a purple PT Cruiser blocking three lanes of traffic to make a left from the right side of the road into the parking lot of the Oasis (our towns Gentleman’s Club…or whatever the nice name for a sleazy naked ladies joint is. Because, seriously, what gentleman would actually go there??). After succeeding in crossing the road after 5 full minutes of being perpendicular to traffic, he got out of his car proudly, like “Hey Smithtown! Yes, I did just interrupt your evening commute home so I could go inside and see girls young enough to be my granddaughter strip for me! I am proud to be a horny old man!!”

(Feel free to post any similar stories you have on comments! Especially if you’re Giff and you saw an old man lying in the road a few nights ago!)

Project Film Frenzy update:

· Dirty Harry (fantastic, minus the annoying music; Harry Callahan is a BAMF!!!)

· Easy Rider (kind of slow, really thought this movie would be better than it was considering it defined a generation of counter-culture…but Peter Fonda was good, the soundtrack was great, and the ending was powerful)

· Woody Allen’s Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* but were afraid to ask (pretty funny stuff!)

Daily Randomisms

Daily Annoyance: Those stupid pop-up chats that come up when I am trying to watch the Office on tvlinks.com!! No, I am not that guy you dated in high school, Lelaine12x! I am sorry that you just broke up with your boyfriend but, frankly, I do not care! Because guess what? You’re not real!!!!!

Seriously, who clicks on those things? They make me ashamed to be a human.

Daily Excitement: I bought a LIFE magazine from March 15^th (my birthday, aka the Ides of March, aka the Day Julius Caesar was murdered by his best friends, aka the day the Romanovs were killed) 1959 in a used book shop!! And it has Fidel Castro on the cover (all young, before he took office violently, when he was just a revolutionist.) Can’t wait to read the sexist 50s advertisements!

Possible Future Occupation: Reading Teacher/ Literary Tutor…boring? I am not sure, but I love to read, and help others to enjoy it, too!

Trivia: Lewis Caroll, the author of Alice in Wonderland, died a virgin. (This may have something to do with the fact that he was famously not interested with anyone who was not a 10-year-old girl.)

Daily Quote: Harry Callahan: “I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”