Mission: To stalk the Queen.
Find Queen Elizabeth in NYC where she was visiting for the first time in 34 years, hopefully get a glimpse of her robes or, even better, a chance to say “Your Majesty,” and then go to the She & Him concert at Terminal 5 (that we bought tickets for weeks ago.)
Actuality: Reality is a cold, hard b*tch. Well, in this case, reality was sweltering in the summer sun, as Katie and I decided that it was way too hot a day to try to find the queen. And, to add to it, her agenda for the 5 hours she would be spending in the wonderful city were nowhere to be found. We temporarily considered camping out at the entrance to the UN, but decided instead to indulge in all the goodness of the Queen’s native country instead. Meaning, we went to the restaurant Tea and Sympathy. This is an adorable little place in the village that I read about, which has British food, traditional teas, and, most excitingly, British people working. It is small inside, but the walls are lined with teapots and teapot memorabilia. There was an extremely adorable display of teapot-shaped salt & pepper shakers (which Katie and I decided must go in the home we share with Giff someday.) There were pictures of the Queen we neglected to stalk and her beautiful relatives. There were books and doilies. And then there were the teapots…purple-flowered, pink-patterned, yellow-quilted, green-toilled. In the shape of a globe, a cat, a mitten, Henry the VIII’s head. Traditional, extravagant, conventional, Alice In Wonderland themed. It was wonderful. We had Quiche, Peach tea, and scones with clotted cream & jam (BEST INVENTION EVERRRR). I did have a small urge to try the finger sandwiches, but there is something about cucumber and cream cheese on white bread that just doesn’t sound good enough to spend money on. And we found a guy from Liverpool with the most delightful accent, and bought a Crunchie bar from him.
We then made the decision to find the apartment building shown in Friends, since my phone GPS said it was only 1.3 miles away, and we are devotees of the show. So we set off on quite an adventure. (Let me give a little history of Tara/Katie travels. You may not know Katie; she is a great human, but only an tolerable navigator. And I am the world’s worst map-reader, and my grandma-like memory doesn’t help. Then, when you put us together, we somehow get worse instead of better, always distracted by something lacey or someone cute. One time we set off for Brookhaven and ended up in Cold Spring Harbor. We have gotten lost at least 4 times coming home from Roosevelt Field Mall. One time we spent an hour trying to find a Taco Bell, our mouths watering with the thought of a Crunchwrap Supreme. We somehow managed to get lost trying to find the Pirates ride in Disneyworld, ending up in Toon Town. We so often have to call my dad for directions and help that he has taken to, every time he sees us, asking “Which one of you is Lewis and which one of you is Clark?”) This day was no different from the others. I attempted to follow the directions on my talking Droid phone, but ended up walking up and down Bleeker enough times for people on the street to begin to recognize us. A scruffy, scrawny guy passing on a bike hollered at us, as I puzzled at the street signs, “It would be easier to just ask someone for directions…” in an ominous manner that reminded me strangely of the smoking caterpillar from Alice’s tales.
But we were determined. Or, at least, I was being annoyingly dogmatic and dragging an exhausted Katie behind me. We were both dripping in sweat, with sore feet, and our hair frizzed more with each block. We considered asking a dumpy group of girls that seemed to be equally confused and trailing us if they were looking for the Friends apartment too, until we realized they spoke no English. After discovering a few used clothes stores, a great record shop, at least 5 places we must return to another day to eat, and one desperate stop for water, we found the place. It was unassuming and indistinctive and would have been unexciting if it weren’t for the triumph I felt at our success in finding it. Then we saw the group of girl tourists, going through the same burst of excitement we were. Actually, they seemed to have already gone through it, and were moving on to picture-taking and gawking. Yes, these non-English-speaking non-New Yorker tourists found the destination before we did. How humiliating.
But we took down our hair, shook out the sweaty locks, and posed for pictures anyway, like the troopers we are. So, we may possibly be the worst navigators on this side of the Atlantic. Yet whenever we get lost, we manage to find something wonderful. This time, many wonderful places, and a passerby who I swear to God was Ty Pennington from Extreme Home Makeover.
Daily Randomisms
Daily Excitement: On this city trip, after buying my Metro ticket in the subway, I clumsily dropped a handful of change. It went rolling across the dirty floor between tons of feet, all rushing to catch whichever train. Katie was already through the gate into the subway track, so I considered ditching the 50-something-cents on the ground for someone else to find. But, surprisingly, people began to stoop down, helping me to pick up my lost marbles— I mean— coins. At least four people handed me change before hurrying off. This one old man was stooped over, determined to help me get every last penny, even while his wife screeched over his head, “WE ‘AVE TO GOOOOO, MARTY, WE’RE GAWNA MISS OUR TRAIN!!!!” I admit, I had kind of lost faith in people’s goodness, and this situation temporarily remedied that.
Daily Annoyance: This heat. Seriously, I am melting here.
Daily Quote(s):
(upon entering the Landing pool)
“This water is soooo splashy! Did you add extra splashes to it, Miss Tara?”
-Thomas, 4-yrs-old, whom I teach swimming lessons to
(during “Ice Cream Scoops” drill, in which I make the kids at swimming lessons pretend the pool is a giant tub of their favorite flavor of ice cream and their hands are the spoons)
“Scoop the Spongebob ice creeeeeeam!! Uh-oh! Peepee on the ice cream!”
-a child which will remain unnamed
Trivia: One of JFK’s many woman, an actress by the name of Angie Dickinson, said her affair with him “was the best 20 seconds of my life.”
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